


Casualties of War

by songsofgallifrey



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Gen, I love torturing my fave, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-04-21 04:30:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14276949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/songsofgallifrey/pseuds/songsofgallifrey
Summary: Before the Chitauri war, trapped in a cell on the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier, Loki sends a cloned illusion of himself to warn the Midgardian woman from New York that he fell in love with years ago to leave the city. He discovers he has a half human daughter. When it appears later that they have been killed, Loki vows revenge on Thanos. Thor: Ragnarok and Infinity War AU.





	1. The Warning

**Author's Note:**

> Archive warning for later content. This will be dark for a while.

“Loki, what are you doing here!?”

Her words were like knives, her voice like a balm to his tattered spirit. Fighting to keep his will afloat, Loki crossed the room, towering over the shocked woman before him, and took his beloved Rayna in his tired arms. She did not return the gesture, surprised as she was to see him this way, battered and beaten and broken, after all this time. She pushed back on his shoulders, her fingers tingling with the magic of the illusion, and he released her, his eyes averted to the floor to avoid her disappointed expression. She looked at her fingers, disgusted.

“Oh. So you're not actually here. I should have known.” Rayna crossed her arms but a worrying thought occurred to her. “Where are you? Where have you been all this time? And what the hell happened to you?”

“So much has happened, my love. I could not begin to explain. I came here to warn you. I was sent here by force under command of the most dangerous being in the universe to try to take over the planet and claim a weapon and energy source which the humans cannot begin to control.” Loki took a step toward her and she flinched backward as though she thought he would strike her. His expression must be maddened, or she wouldn't be looking at him like he was about to explode. He settled his features into what he hoped was a serious and less intimidating look.

“There will be war. People will die. You have to get out.” Loki's breath caught as a bolt of pain streaked across his mind. Thanos knows, Loki thought to himself. He couldn't bear the thought of Rayna falling victim to Thanos’ sadistic whims. A tear slid down his bruised-looking face. “Please.” His voice came out at barely a whisper now. “I… I can't lose you again.”

Rayna tried to process this information, her mind racing. After taking inventory of what she knew about Loki, she decided to heed his warning. “Okay, I believe you. I'll try to leave town."

Loki's eyes widened with alarm. “Try?”

"Yes, I will try. But there's someone you have to see first. It's time you knew.”

Loki was breathing fast, despite not actually having lungs. His control was now tenuous at best, and slipping. Even just as an illusion he could feel the draw of the scepter, tiny threads of the link that stretched between the mind in his physical body and the creature who played him like a puppet from the other end of the universe. Loki's will was strong but his ability to resist was wearing thin. The illusion would break if he held out much longer. He decided not to argue with Rayna and followed her through her bedroom and down the hall.

They reached a bedroom door with colorful flowers painted all over it, and Rayna put her hand on the doorknob. "Be quiet, it's nap time," she whispered, before turning the knob and easing the door open. Before Loki could say anything, his words were frozen in his throat by the sight of a small child sleeping peacefully in her bed. Loki guessed she might have been five or six years old. He took in what details he could make out in the dim light, making note of her long, dark hair and pale skin. Her nose looked familiar, but he couldn't place it. Rayna closed the door and led Loki back to her bedroom so they could talk.

"I suppose you grew tired of waiting for me," Loki said, his voice heavy with despair. "I can't say that I blame you."

“That's your daughter, Loki.”

"W-what? How? When? HOW!?" His tone reached shouting level, and he felt a rush of anger and adrenaline. It was impossible.

Loki's illusion pushed past Rayna and went back to the flowered door to throw it open. The child did not wake when the door slammed on the wall behind it, and he stood mesmerized as he noticed the detail he had missed before; a cluster of small green swirls of light - Seidr, he knew - threaded through the girl's small fingers as she slept. The illusion fell to his knees soundlessly and, unable to maintain control any longer, vanished into swirls of magic.

Now back in the helicarrier, Loki opened his eyes to see no one had noticed him sitting there silently. The hold he had on his own mind felt a bit stronger now, as if conjuring the clone had taxed his will more than he was used to, but he knew it was because it was proximity to the scepter that solidified its power over him. Loki could still feel the pressure of its influence; it must be here on the aircraft, he thought.

He had a daughter. Loki swallowed this realization and it dropped into his stomach like a block of ice. He never thought it was possible. Part of him thought maybe Rayna had lied, but the truth, so blatantly presented to his clone, could not be ignored. This made his mission that much more complicated. To carry out Thanos' orders, he may very well end up killing his own child in the process. The very thought of any harm coming to the raven-haired little girl who shared his power made his vision lose focus.

Loki stood and started pacing to calm the storm in his mind. After a few moments he sensed a presence behind him, outside the cell they built for Banner. He turned and smiled at the redheaded former spy that Barton had told him all about.

“There's not many people who can sneak up on me.”


	2. E

Alone at last, lying on the uncomfortable bed in his Asgardian prison cell, Loki shut his eyes and tried to focus. The distance between Asgard and Midgard was considerable and he had never tried to project an illusion so far before. In his mind's eye he envisioned Rayna and their daughter, the apartment they lived in. He took a deep breath and sharpened the focus in his mind to further the connection. Rayna’s sparkling hazel eyes, her squared glasses, her four-poster bed and purple quilt. The chair she would sit in to read in the corner of her bedroom, the light that would slant in through the gaps in her blackout curtains when the sun would hit the window just right in the afternoon. The ever-present scent of jasmine oil, her favorite. 

The tears streaming from her eyes the last time he said goodbye to her in person. The hurt in her face, the pain in her voice. Her screams of disdain, begging him to never come back.

Loki's focus faltered and what distance he had covered dissipated. He opened his eyes, blinking away hot tears, scanned for anyone watching, then closed them again. A deep breath cleared his head once more. He pictured the apartment again in his mind, creating a blueprint of sorts in his head, and visualized himself walking down the hall from Rayna’s room to the flowered door. With more concentration he could feel the soft carpet beneath his boots, dampening their sound, could feel the texture of the drywall on his fingertips. When his mind's eye reached the door to his daughter's room, he pictured what little he could remember about her, the long and silky black hair that shone in the dim light, the smile that played at her lips as she dreamed, and the glowing green lights around her fingers -

As soon as he thought it, Loki was there. His fully formed illusion now stood before the painted door, the paint cracked and peeling, and turned on the spot to look around. Clearly abandoned some time ago, this part of the apartment was in alarming disarray. Even here in the hallway there were chairs and clothes strewn about on the floor, doors were left wide open, and chunks were missing in the walls. A thin layer of dust had settled like ash after a fire. He turned to the little girl's door and pushed on the doorknob. To his surprise the heavy door, broken loose from its hinges and leaning on the frame, slammed to the floor with a deafening crash. What he saw ripped his heart from his chest.

The girl's bed was overturned and propped up on the wall, the pillows and bedding torn to shreds. The window had been shattered from the outside, as evidenced by the shards of glass on every surface within a yard of it. Clothes and toys were thrown everywhere. There was a sizeable dark stain on the carpet. With a wave of both rage and nausea Loki realized what he was looking at was dried blood. Slowly he walked into the room, anxious to keep from disturbing it too much, and knelt beside the blood. He waved one hand over the stain, sensing the energy left behind. Panic, fear, anger, righteous fury, and death had left an invisible but magically tangible scar in this room. 

They must not have made it out in time, Loki thought, his body suddenly heavy with guilt. The illusion clenched his fists and a roar erupted from him, a challenge to the universe - to Thanos, for it had to have been him - for daring to take from him the only blood he had left. 

He had been such a fool to warn Rayna. Had he simply kept to himself, she, and the daughter he would have never known about, would be safe still. The battle with the Chitauri hadn’t reached this corner of the city and the block was untouched, save for this apartment. Loki could see as much through the broken window. He cursed his lack of foresight. By trying to protect Rayna, and learning about his child, he had signed both of their death warrants. He hadn’t even known the girl's name. 

The midmorning light shifted and a glint of metal caught his eye. Loki rose to his feet and crossed the demolished bedroom to where the bedside table lay broken. Next to it on the floor was a picture frame, its glass panel cracked but the photo intact. Loki picked it up and held his breath. As if frozen in time, Rayna and his daughter smiled at him from the picture. The girl had his black hair and icy blue eyes and her mother's beautiful smile, and she wore a gold necklace with the letter E on it. Loki stifled a sob and his fingers tried unsuccessfully to rub the stubborn dust off of the glass. Knowing the illusion couldn't bring the picture back with it, Loki gazed at the photograph for a few more moments, determined to sear its image in his mind, then he threw it at the opposite wall, the glass shattering and falling to the floor with a soft tinkling sound. He rose to his feet and made his way down the hall into Rayna’s bedroom, his heavy footsteps kicking up dust.

Surprisingly, Rayna’s bedroom appeared to be untouched. The covers on her bed were pulled back, as though she had hastily rushed out, but everything else was in its proper place, the room overall immaculate if one were to disregard the dust. A fully packed suitcase was on the floor next to the bed, and when he looked closer, Loki noticed a folded piece of paper on one of Rayna’s silk pillows, addressed to him in her loopy cursive handwriting. 

"Loki," it read,

"If you're reading this, we're gone. I can hear the fighting from here. I'm about to pack. Erika and I will leave as soon as she wakes up. You looked like you were in trouble so I'm going to take our little girl far away from here. I'm so sorry but I can't tell you where. I can't let you see her again. It was a mistake to show you in the first place. Your world has gotten too dangerous and I have to protect her. I love you but she has to come first. I hope one day you can find peace. If Erika is like you and she outlives me maybe she will find you when she's grown. I'm sorry it had to be this way. Thank you for warning us. You saved our lives. I will never forget that.

Rayna"

Loki didn't want to see any more. The energy left behind by what had happened here clung to the air like smoke, suffocating any hope he had left of seeing the little girl and her mother again. He crumpled the note and threw it back down on the bed, his fists clenched. The illusion vanished and Loki opened his eyes, back in his gilded cell. For all the good he knew it wouldn't do, he wanted to scream and rage and break things. He found himself bargaining with the general power of the universe - he would give up his magic, his long life, his strength, anything and everything just to see his daughter safe. It was no use, he knew, except to torture himself, but after what he had done he felt like a little self punishment. 

“I was wondering when you'd open your eyes.” The soft and knowing voice of the queen, his mother, interrupted his thoughts. Loki sat up and saw she had been standing almost right next to him without him sensing her. The relief that washed over him at the sight of her smothered any doubt he had about her loyalties and made him forget momentarily about Rayna and Erika. 

“Odin had allegedly forbidden me from seeing you ever again as part of my sentence,” Loki said bitterly. “I can't say I was expecting company.” He knew he was being rude to her, but he didn't have it in him to pretend to be hospitable in his own prison cell. Loki stood up and walked over to the transparent wall, watching new prisoners being brought in. “Odin continues to bring me new friends. How thoughtful.”


	3. Brave Enough to Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You didn't think I would let the child die, did you?

“Where is my mommy?” Erika sniffled and wiped her nose on the back of her arm, peering up, terrified, at the man in the floating chair. She was still wearing the pajamas she had picked out before her nap, but they were grimy and rumpled, and one of the pants legs had torn off at her knee. Her feet were bare and the ground hurt them. She wondered if she was seeing things right. Did the man really have purple skin? Her mother always told her not to comment on people's looks so she decided not to ask. She felt so small and scared and all she wanted was to go home.

The purple man laughed slowly. “Your mommy,” he said, in a way that made the girl feel like he was making fun of her, “is long gone, and you'll never see her again. It's your father we want, child.” Erika looked around her, confused. The first part of his response didn't hit her but the second part did. Her mother had told her that her father had died before she was born. She and the people who took her were standing on a rock, and it looked like they were in space, but that wasn't possible, was it? None of them looked like real people, though.

“Are you an alien?” she asked, in a brief flash of boldness. Erika lowered her head when they all began to laugh. She didn't want to make them mad. “I don't even know who my dad is,” she said with a small voice. A scaly hand grabbed the back of her neck, cold and clammy and strong. Erika screamed but was paralyzed with fear. 

“You're a liar, and a bad one at that,” growled the purple man. “Can you guess what we do with liars around here?”

Erika couldn't see his face but she could tell he was angry. She began to cry again, hiccuping softly, her tears blurring her vision. A snap of fingers echoed around them and the hand on her neck gripped tighter. “I'm not lying,” Erika sobbed as loud as she could with the hand around her throat. “I promise! I'm not lying, please!” Another snap of fingers and the hand was gone. Erika fell to her knees on the craggy rocks and gasped for breath, crying as quietly as she could manage. 

“We know that your father came to visit you when he was supposed to be carrying out my orders. The traitor got himself captured by the humans. He has kept the Tesseract from us and he will face punishment. Tell us where he is.” Erika didn't know what he was talking about, so she stayed silent, her frightened tears falling to the ground.

“Take her to the cell,” said the booming voice of the purple man. “Bind her so she can't use her powers. Some time alone should loosen her tongue.” He laughed again. “Little ones are always so easy to break.”

_Powers? Easy to break?_ Erika started to panic and was caught under her arms when she tried to get on her feet. The scaly hands forced her own hands behind her back and she screamed again, kicking in the air as her small wrists were bound together. “No! Please! Let me go! I don't have any powers! My dad is dead! _Please!_ ” They carried her by her arms through many different hallways and dumped her on a bed on her side, slamming a heavy barred door shut on their way out. 

At last they left her alone. Erika fought her bonds once she figured out they weren't coming back, wriggling and flexing her hands against the rope. Giving up after a few unsuccessful minutes, she slumped down and curled into herself, crying harder than she had ever cried before. She lost track of time and it felt like hours passed.

She missed her mother terribly. So much had happened in the last - how long had it been? With a sob Erika realized she had no idea. _I'm only five years old. What do they want with me? Are they gonna hurt me? I don't know anything. I'm just a kid._ She was so tired. She would have given anything to be getting ready for school right then. She even felt like sleeping, but was too afraid something would happen or they would come back.

Her shoulders and wrists were starting to ache, and her stomach growled fiercely. She took several deep breaths like her mother used to show her to calm down, and wiped her nose on the sheet underneath her. Erika wasn't sure what the purple man had meant when he had told her that her mother was gone, but she knew she didn't want to believe anything he said. 

Through her fear, the last words her mother had told her, something she had made sure Erika remembered and believed since she was little, repeated in her head. _You are braver and stronger than you think you are, and when the time comes, you will know, and then no one can hurt you._ Erika closed her eyes and nodded to herself.

_Okay, time to be brave._

She let herself drift to sleep, dreaming of green swirls of lights.


	4. Pinky Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three years have passed since Erika was taken to Thanos' ship. The Black Order is helping him groom her to use as a weapon against Loki. But our heroine has a trick up her sleeve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aside from the trailers for Infinity War, I knew next to nothing about the Black Order aside from their powers. Just bear with me. Assume it's Thor: Ragnarok and Infinity War AU from here on out. :)

“Very good, Erika. See, it doesn't hurt as much now, does it?” Holding the spell was actually making Erika’s head feel like Thanos was splitting it in half, but she shook her head no in agreement. Ebony Maw, as she had learned he was called, was not someone she wanted to annoy. He was able to control her mind and make her do spells perfectly, but Thanos wanted her to learn to do it herself. After all, Thanos had reasoned, Ebony didn't like to get his hands dirty and he wouldn't always be there in battle to manipulate her mind. Years of torturous training had honed her limited abilities, but as she was still young - eight years old now - and she was half human, there was only so much she could do. She wasn't even sure how she was able to do these things - all they had told her was that her father, whoever he was, could do them too, but he was a bad and evil man who betrayed them and deserved to be punished.

Every time they told her this, she reminded herself of her internal promise, made three years ago, to never trust Thanos to tell the truth. The only truth was that she had gotten stronger, in more ways than they knew. In three years Erika had grown up and learned the meaning of pain, but what they didn't know, what she kept hidden away from Ebony and from Thanos, was that her magic had given her an escape.

“Release.” 

Erika lowered her hand and the shield she was trying to generate dissipated into nothing. “Maybe you need an extra incentive,” Ebony said, and motioned to where Proxima Midnight was standing in the corner, watching them. Erika's heart began to race and her eyes grew wide with fear as Proxima stood about ten feet from her, spear aimed directly at Erika's face. 

“I don't think I have to tell you what will happen if you don't get your shield up in time.” Ebony’s voice had an edge of laughter in it. 

Erika darted her eyes between Proxima and Ebony, not believing what he was saying to her. She had seen the spear in action and knew all too well what it was capable of. “But - but that thing can kill me! I can't make a shield that will block it! What am I supposed to do, dodge it?” she asked, receiving a cold, deadly look from him but no answer. Then Ebony started counting down.

“Three.” 

Resigned to her fate, Erika took a deep breath and focused energy into her hands, pushing it out in a weak dome of green energy in front of her. 

“Two.” 

Proxima reared her arm back and her eyes narrowed, a wicked grin spreading across her pale face. Erika pushed more energy into the shield, her hands shaking. She felt hot drops of blood drip from her nose and into her mouth. Much longer and she would pass out again.

“One.” 

As Proxima moved her spear arm forward to deliver her killing blow, time seemed to slow down for Erika. For the briefest moment she felt relieved. Finally her torture would be over. She squeezed her eyes shut and a rush of icy energy shot out of her body, straight from her chest. After a few moments she realized she couldn't feel the spear in her body, so she opened her eyes and was absolutely dumbfounded to see a wall of ice a meter thick that had formed in front of her. Erika released the energy she was holding, and the ice broke apart. Proxima and Ebony stood motionless, staring at each other in silence. 

Swaying with exhaustion, Erika walked over to the pile of ice and sat on her heels to examine it. There in the middle was Proxima’s spear, lodged in a hunk of ice that covered almost the entire shaft. She fell back onto the ground in surprise when she heard slow clapping behind her. She didn't have to turn around to know who it was.

“Excellent work, my children. You've brought out the frost giant in her. Now the real work can begin.” Thanos laughed deeply and exited the room, his heavy footsteps echoing. Erika watched as the dark blue color faded from the skin on her arms, wondering what the Black Order had turned her into.

“Take the girl back to her cell,” growled Ebony. “And make it quick.” 

Proxima angrily snatched her spear from the pile of ice and pushed it into Erika's back. “You think you know what it is to feel pain, little girl, but now that Thanos knows you have frost giant powers as well as Loki's magic, well..” She trailed off into vague silence and laughed under her breath as she pushed Erika along the hallways to her cell. “Let's just say your daddy won't be the only frost giant to scream inside these walls.” Proxima pushed Erika into her cell, where she landed unceremoniously on the rusted metal floor. “Nighty night, princess.” Erika breathed a sigh of relief when Proxima rounded the corner, and despite the fatigue that threatened to drown her in dreamless sleep, she closed her eyes and focused on the name that her prison guard had finally given her. Her father's name.

_Loki._

…………………..

Loki couldn't sleep and hold his illusion at the same time, so to keep up the façade that he was Odin, he had to sleep in private quarters. These days, though, sleep was hard to come by. He kept having a recurring dream about Rayna and his daughter, no doubt resulting from lingering guilt. There was nothing he could do about it but avenge their deaths if the opportunity arose, but his mind still held it over him like an executioner's sword. 

He had to shake off the thought of Erika and Rayna bleeding to death in that room as he tossed and turned in his luxurious bed. His daughter's face was burned into his memory, and he would face the rest of his long life knowing he could never hold her, never teach her to use her magic, never see her grow up. In the early hours of morning he finally started to drift to sleep, thinking of her raven hair and blue eyes, when he heard a voice in his head, clear as day. 

_“Daddy?”_

Loki bolted upright, his illusion gone, fully awake again. A flick of his wrist drew his dagger into his hand. Not caring about disguising his voice, he leapt to his feet and shouted, “Who's there!?” When nothing revealed itself, Loki put his dagger away and slid back down into the bed. It must have been his imagination. The pink fingers of early dawn were playing at the edges of the horizon outside his window and he wanted to get at least a little sleep. Once his adrenaline wore out he started to tire again, and at the brink of sleep he heard it once more.

_“Dad?”_

At once Loki was on his feet. He cast an illusion of Odin sleeping on the bed and ran into the adjoining sitting room for more privacy, locking the gilded door behind him. 

Closing his eyes, Loki focused on the voice he had heard, instantly recognizing the hallmarks of Seidr it left behind in his mind. A small thread of the connection still remained, but it was fading. Using his magic he reached out to see where it was coming from, and was surprised to find it was reaching him from far away, not here on Asgard. 

Who in the nine realms would be able to contact him, using Seidr and somehow bypassing every guard he had around his mind? Loki poured more of his magic into the connection to strengthen it. The person on the other end had sounded so young, so small and lost. Suddenly the voice boomed in his ears like a rocket and it made him jump.

_“Are you there?”_

“Who are you?” Loki spoke aloud and received no answer, so he tried repeating the question in his head. 

_“Are you Loki?”_

He wasn't sure whether to respond. What if someone was using this child to find him, when he was supposed to be dead? 

“What's your name? How are you doing this?” Loki thought at the voice.

_“My name is Erika. Please, are you Loki?”_

Loki fell to his knees. Erika? _His_ Erika? He searched his mind for another logical explanation and found none.

His daughter was alive.

“Yes, I am Loki,” he thought at her, hoping desperately that the connection would hold.

_“Oh, thank god! I'm your daughter. Please, you have to help me. I don't have much time.”_

“Where are you, Erika?” Loki was already mentally forming an army of Einherjar to rescue her. He would tear down Hel itself if he had to.

_“I don't know where I am but I'm with Thanos and his friends. They're horrible. He's horrible. Please come get me. Please.”_ The girl's voice was growing desperate, fatigued.

Loki was at a loss for words. His heart slammed into overdrive at the memory of what Thanos and the Black Order had done to him. It was still a blur in some parts, but most of it stood in sharp focus; the blood, the heat, the pain, his own biology as a frost giant used against him to break his mind so Thanos could bend it to his will. On one hand, he knew that if he were to put himself in Thanos’ path to rescue Erika, he may not succeed and could get them both killed. Failing to deliver the Tesseract would likely cost him dearly until he begged for death. On the other, she was his daughter, his blood, and Loki did not want to set the example that if someone hurt his daughter they could get away with it.

_“Hello?”_

“Erika, I'm still here. I can't come right now, not until I find help to bring with me. Be strong, I swear to you on my life that I will find you,” he thought at her as quickly and as gently as he could. “I can imagine what you're going through. You're scared. But listen to me, darling. Are you listening?”

A pause. _“...Yeah.”_

“You are stronger than you realize. No one in the universe has ever been able to contact me the way you just have. It's going to be hard but you have to believe you can get through anything they do to you. I promise they will pay.”

_“Pinky promise?”_

Loki didn't know what that meant but he wasn't going to disagree.

“Pinky promise.” Just then the connection severed, leaving Loki temporarily disoriented. He formed a magic bubble around himself so no one could hear him and howled at the top of his lungs until his voice was hoarse. 

It was time to end the charade and contact Thor.


	5. Blood is Thicker than Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor has received Loki's message and returned to Asgard with Surtur’s crown to hear him out. Erika continues to fight the Black Order's influence.

“Let me get this straight.” 

Thor loomed over Loki, slowly spinning Mjölnir by the strap as he processed everything his brother had just told him. He needed to pace, but didn't trust Loki not to run, so he placed the hammer into his brother's lap to hold him down in the chair. The two were in the king’s private quarters, where Loki had been staying while impersonating the Allfather.

Loki grimaced and tried uselessly to push Mjölnir away from his groin. “By all means,” he groaned, “take your time.” He sighed. There was no point in trying to move the hammer, so he just shifted his weight from hip to hip to alleviate the pressure, grateful the chair was luxuriously padded.

Thor continued to pace as he spoke, ignoring Loki's discomfort. “Your attack on Earth was forced. This… Thanos is the one who forced you to do it.”

“Yes.” 

“He, he… he tortured you and used the Mind Stone on you.”

“Right again.”

Thor turned on his heels and came back toward Loki, his stride quickening. “And you have a daughter you never told anyone about, because you didn't know about her. And Thanos found out about her and took her. Is that about the long and short of it?”

“Nothing gets past you, does it, Thor?” Loki groaned louder and sighed in frustration. “If you're only going to repeat everything I said, you're wasting time.”

“Why didn't you say anything before, about Thanos or the Mind Stone? You know that you would have been treated differently, had Father or I, or even Mother, known. You could have avoided a prison cell. You would have been there to protect Jane and our mother when Malekith attacked.” He squinted at Loki. “How do I know you're not lying to me, right now?”

Being reminded of his mother's murder felt like a kick to the gut, but Loki had to admit that was a fair question. There was a good reason he was known as the God of Mischief and Lies. He was so desperate to get out of there, to hunt Thanos down, that he was growing impatient of Thor's interrogation, but he knew that there was no way he could face Thanos on his own. Swallowing his pride, Loki gestured for Thor to come over to him.

“Let me show you,” he said, and when Thor bent down he placed his hand on his brother's forehead. 

It was as if years of time had been compressed into a nanosecond. In his head Thor saw Loki's memory in brilliant, painful clarity, as though he was Loki himself; Thanos’ cold laughter as another creature drove needle-sharp spikes into what felt like every inch of his body, watching his life's blood flow in a steady stream to the floor until he was sufficiently weakened, the skin on his hands and arms turning dark blue with patterned ridges on them. He watched as his brother was forced to endure scorching heat until his frost giant physiology could take no more, and then his mind was vulnerable to the effects of the Mind Stone. A weapon was fashioned, a scepter with the Stone in the center, designed to keep Loki's mind under its control and render other people helpless to its effects. Then Loki showed him the little girl with his hair and his mother's smile, and the brief conversation they had shared through their unique connection.

Once Loki decided that Thor had seen enough, he lowered his hand. Thor stumbled backward and sat on the floor, his head reeling. Loki had not wanted to dredge up those memories, but he didn't have a choice if he was going to convince Thor to help him. A single tear fell from his cheek onto the hammer. Every moment spent trying to convince his brother to help him was another moment his daughter spent in the clutches of the most formidable creature in the universe. At last Loki knew Thor understood why he never talked about Thanos; it was simply too painful and no one would have believed him.

“Her name is Erika,” said Loki, his voice hardly above a whisper. He knew Thor could hear him, and he was tired of shouting.

“Eternal ruler,” Thor replied, and smiled at his brother. “I wonder if her mother named her that on purpose, given that she's half an Asgardian princess by blood.”

Loki was surprised at this comment, given that he wasn't actually a prince by blood. It was a constant source of validation that Thor, after everything, still, even begrudgingly, saw him as his real brother. He shook his head, his black curls falling into his face. “Knowing how smart Rayna is… was... she probably did.” He looked up at Thor and searched his face for any doubt or cynicism. “I need your help, brother. Help me get my daughter back and I will leave. I'll take her to Vanaheim and we can live out our long lives there in peace. I have lost so much time with her already. I'll give the throne back. I don't want it anymore. Help me destroy Thanos.”

Thor stood and summoned his hammer into his hand. “Take me to Father and I will.” Loki rose from his chair to go toward the door, and Thor placed a heavy hand on his shoulder to stop him. Loki's tired eyes shone with suppressed tears. “If we make it out alive, if Erika still lives, I will explain to Father about the Mind Stone and Thanos’ plot. You should be able to keep her here in Asgard, in safety, even if it isn't here in the palace. She can have a comfortable life among her people.”

…………………

Erika woke from a dead sleep feeling like she was being watched, and sat up on her cot. Sure enough, Ebony Maw was standing outside the door to her cell with his fingertips pressed together, held up to his smiling lips. Erika's eyes grew wide and she slid back on the makeshift bed until her back hit the wall. She hadn't had sleep in three days and he was the last person she wanted to see.

“What have you done, little one, to make Thanos believe you can't be trusted with your own mind? Hm, it's a shame, I bet you were having such sweet dreams.” He waved his hand and Erika floated up into the air, unable to move under his influence. With a wave of his other hand the bars from the cell across the hall flew into Erika's and wrapped around her body to bind her arms to her torso and her legs to each other. The fit was loose; perhaps the alien assumed that his control over her was more powerful than her ability to fight him. Ebony opened the door and turned to walk down the hallway, Erika hovering behind him, frightened and silent. She couldn't even struggle against the bonds, for he had placed a psychic block in her mind.

Fighting against the alien’s will pressing against the edges of her consciousness, Erika closed her eyes, the only voluntary movement she was still capable of aside from breathing, and visualized the metal bars around her being frozen in ice. Very slowly she felt the sensation of intense cold radiating from her chest, as if her very ribs were made of ice. It was just on the border of painful but she was determined to keep it up. As Ebony moved her through the massive ship, Erika opened her eyes to see that she had succeeded; each bar wrapped around her body was encased in thick ice, even the parts touching her. The skin exposed to the frozen metal had turned dark blue. She was used to this by now, having practiced her new powers daily. Panic threatened to paralyze her, but she took a few deep breaths to swallow her fear. _My dad is coming_ , she thought, the mantra she had repeated in her head for weeks. _My dad is coming. I have to be ready when he gets here_.

Looking around her, Erika was relieved to see they were still deep in the belly of the ship. Thanos liked to be at the controls, so she still had time before they reached him, as long as she didn't call attention to herself and make Ebony Maw turn around to see her. She closed her eyes again and focused on the ice, trying to make it melt just enough to turn slick. It began to work after about a minute's effort, but she started to wear out by the time she saw water droplets falling to the rusted floor. Fatigue burned her eyes and Ebony’s tight grip on her mind became minutely stronger. If she didn't do this now, and make it work, she would be punished for her attempt. 

Her eyes tightly closed, the image of her mother and her words about bravery in the front of her mind, Erika pushed as much energy as she could into raising her body temperature. Slowly but surely, she felt her body weight pulling her down inch by inch through the bars as the ice melted. Her head was starting to ache, and she felt blood pouring from her nose. If this didn't work she would faint before reaching Thanos. Finally, once she thought she might be able to slip out, Erika took a deep breath and exhaled as much as she could. The slick ice and water on the loose bars enabled her to fall to the floor. 

Erika tried to cushion her fall with her limited magic, but it wasn't quite enough. She hit the floor with a crash, twisting her ankle on impact. Consumed with adrenaline and joy, realizing she was free of Ebony’s control, she tried to ignore the pain and turn to run away, but Ebony Maw had heard her land. Erika's injured ankle made her limp and she didn't see the metal bar flying toward her. She let out a choked scream of surprise when she felt the still-frozen metal wrap around her throat and lift her from the ground. Ebony rotated his hand to turn her around, fury hardening his features. Erika kicked and fought to get loose. If this was her time, she was going to go down fighting. 

“Looks like you just lost the privilege of free will, little one,” Ebony sneered, and in the moment of consciousness she still had left Erika pushed as much magic as she could into the connection with her father's mind, attaching to it the image of the last thing she saw before going under. Her final free thought was desperate hope that the message would reach Loki, wherever he was, before they killed her.


	6. Plans Broken, Promises Kept

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's only chance to save his daughter will cost him the few allies he has. Desperate and reckless, what will he do when faced with the Mad Titan's wrath?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a rewrite of the old chapter 6. I wanted to take the story in a whole new direction. This chapter contains direct quotes from the Infinity War film but the events are changed.

_ “Alright, stop! _ ”

Loki’s heart sank even as the words came out of his mouth. His failure seeped into his veins like poison; once again he wasn’t strong enough to make the right decision, and now the entire universe would pay the price. He felt like the abandoned Prince that had fallen into Thanos’ clutches years ago, weak and scared and worthless. Loki closed his eyes and swallowed hard, trying to maintain his composure. He would  _ not  _ let Thanos reduce him to the trembling child he used to be.

Thor spoke up again, and Loki could have hit him, if only to get him to shut up. “We don’t have the Tesseract,” he croaked desperately. “It was destroyed on Asgard.”

_ Thor, you great oaf!  _

Well, there was no possible way Thanos would believe him now. Glancing apologetically at Thor, Loki cast his eyes down at the cracked floor and lifted his arm, the Tesseract materializing in his hand from where he had hidden it before retrieving Surtur’s crown in the vault on Asgard. His heart began to race, his legs threatening to give, but he had a new plan, and there was no backing out now. 

Clearly in the throes of a death wish, Thor spat at him, “You really are the worst, brother.” 

Guilt shot a lance of ice through Loki’s stomach. If he could touch Thor, just one finger, he could communicate the plan to him, but there was no chance for that if they were both going to make it out of this alive. Thor would just have to trust that there was something deeper going on. Putting as much emphasis on his words as he could, Loki stared deep into Thor’s eyes and hoped that just this once his brother could pick up on subtext. 

“I assure you, brother,” he said quietly, internally screaming at Thor to listen carefully, “the sun will shine on us again.”

Thor gave no indication of comprehension, rather his expression changed from defiance, to resigned annoyance, to outright fury. 

Thanos’ eyes were cold and predatory, like a shark waiting to snap at its prey. “Your optimism is misplaced, Asgardian,” he said, reaching for the Tesseract. Loki’s blood ran cold as the Titan took it in his gauntleted hand. A triumphant smile spread across his face and he released Thor’s head, to Loki’s relief.

“I should have known,” Thor muttered, still on all fours, his head hanging low, refusing to look Loki in the eye. “All this time… everything we’ve been through. All of it, a trick. A long game.” A sob shook his body and he cleared his throat. “You’re dead to me,” he said with a resounding finality that chilled Loki to his bones.

Loki clenched his teeth and willed the tears burning his eyes to keep themselves hidden. Of course Thor couldn’t tell what was going on, and all it appeared to be was yet another of Loki’s betrayals, another reason to believe he could not be trusted. It seized his heart in a razor-sharp grip, and had it not been days since he had eaten he would have been sick. Thor would never trust him again after this.

Thanos ignored them both and closed his fist around the cube until it shattered like glass, sending a wave of blue energy outward. A puff of air through his lips blew away the broken shards and left behind only the glowing blue Space Stone, which Thanos then took in his opposite hand and placed in the next empty socket in his Gauntlet. A shudder of power flowed through the Titan, making his children fall to their knees. 

The Maw spoke up, gazing at Thanos with reverence. “My humble personage bows before your grandeur,” he said, holding one fist over his chest. “No other being has ever had the might, nay the nobility, to wield not one, but two Infinity Stones. The universe lies within your grasp.”

Loki’s stomach lurched and he tasted bile in the back of his throat. The power contained in that Gauntlet was more than the universe had seen since the dawn of creation, and it was in the hands of a tyrant with a twisted perception of mercy. Thanos had waited six years for this moment, since Loki was sent to Earth, and he would not be happy to have been kept waiting. The tortures Loki endured all those years ago would be nothing to what was waiting for him - but Thor was right about one thing. 

He was playing a long game now.

Thanos closed his eyes, savoring the power flowing through him. When he opened them again he had a renewed sense of purpose. “There are two more Stones on Earth,” he said. “Find them, my children, and bring them to me on Titan.”

In the resulting silence Loki could hear the mumbling of a male voice - Heimdall. The Gatekeeper was alive, but only just, and revealing this would likely cost him dearly. Loki barely registered the unmistakable sound of the Bifrost before it streaked across the ship, and he watched with horror as the Hulk was carried off into space, his roar fading away when he disappeared. Loki stared wide-eyed at Thanos, fearing retaliation, or worse. 

“That was a mistake,” Thanos said simply, and pushed Loki out of the way to walk over to Heimdall. He snatched the spear out of Corvus Glave’s hands and plunged it into Heimdall’s chest, ending the Gatekeeper’s long life, and Loki had to fight to keep himself from crying out as Thor did.

“No! You’re going to die for that!” Thor screamed, trying to rise to his feet, but his injuries were too great for him to fight and he fell back down on his knees. Tears cut through the dirt and blood caked on his face and he looked as though he was moments from giving up.

Thanos turned to face Thor with a smug smile. “Come, my children,” he shouted, his voice reverberating through the broken ship, “we have work to do.” 

Loki’s heart pounded with a new rush of adrenaline and he stumbled when Proxima Midnight grabbed his upper arm. She dragged him over to Thanos just as he raised the Gauntlet and used the Space Stone to create a portal around himself, the Black Order, and Loki, and before Loki could react they were all in the control room of the Sanctuary 2, Thanos’ massive ship. With Proxima’s spear pressing into his spine, Loki tried to control his breathing as he looked out of the expansive window, where they could still see the Grandmaster’s ship being broken apart by veins of purple energy flowing through the hull. He pictured Thor, lying on the floor all hopeless and with no way to rescue himself, and prayed with all his might that Thor would survive the expanse of space the same as he had all those years ago before he was captured by Thanos. Thor was injured, but it would take more than that to kill him.

_ All the effort to draw him back to Asgard, my only ally - how will I save Erika now? _

_ Perhaps if I gained access to the dungeon cells... _

The Sanctuary’s engines rumbled to life, and the last thing he saw before it took off at unimaginable speed was the Statesman bursting into massive chunks of rubble flying outward from the epicenter of purple light. Loki’s entire body shook as he came back to himself and remembered where he was, and his breath froze in his lungs when Thanos broke the tense silence.

“Don’t think for a moment that your insolence will go unpunished,” said the Titan, and the spear pushed a bit harder into Loki’s back. “We have a little matter to discuss first, however, and your answer will determine how long the Maw will make you scream before I tell him to stop.” He let out a cruel laugh, and Loki swallowed hard, squeezing his hands into tight fists until his nails bit into his palms. “And we both know how much he likes to make people scream.”

Loki forced confidence into his voice and lowered his eyes to Thanos’ feet. “All that I have done,” he lied, “I have done knowing, hoping, one day I would be back here to serve you. It was not my intent to fail, or to make you wait so long for me to return. I will tell you anything you need to know if I know it, and I accept what punishment you see fit for my failure.”

“Your  _ failure  _ cost me an army, Asgardian, and set me back decades. Had you not surrendered the Tesseract, I would not have had the patience to spare you. You are lucky your throat doesn’t bear the mark of my grip.” 

Loki gulped, realizing just how deep into dangerous waters he had tread.

“Now. To the matter at hand. Where is the Reality Stone?”


	7. The Road to Knowhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanos has gained a new puppet. Old acquaintances show new promise. On Earth, Bruce is the voice of reason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is purely Infinity War AU. I quote directly and indirectly from the movie. It's been 84 years but I'm finally done wrestling with this chapter. Make no mistake- I hate Thanos and his twisted sense of empathy and I am cackling thinking of ways I can kill him at the hands of the ones who deserve it most. As always, feedback is appreciated and I'd love to hear your thoughts on who you think deserves to kill the purple raisin!

Erika stood stiffly before Thanos, her empty gaze set somewhere over his shoulder. The sheer size of the cockpit and its occupants dwarfed her, but unlike before, her expression held no fear. The creature in control of her mind hovered just behind her to her left with a satisfied grin, the tips of his fingers pressed together as he bowed to his father and master and stood up straight again. 

“How aware is she?” Thanos asked, slowly waving his gauntleted hand in front of Erika's face. 

“Like a blank slate,” the Maw said smugly. “You have trained her well, and she fought the process. She is still in there, buried deep, but I have ensured that no measure of effort she is capable of will break the hold.” 

“Does Loki know she's here?”

Ebony Maw's features settled into a slight frown. “I believe I successfully severed any connection she has with him. His power has grown, but as far as any of us know, sire, Loki is unaware of her fate, or her mother's.”

Thanos smirked and turned around to look out of the cockpit window. “Let's keep it that way,” he murmured. “We shall see where his loyalty truly lies when we get to Knowhere. But first…” He turned back around and gestured with his head toward the controls for his auxiliary ship. “You and Cull Obsidian are to make your way to Earth and retrieve the Stones Loki left there. Spare no lives.”

Ebony Maw bowed deeply. “We shall return victorious,” he vowed. “The child is yours to command, Father.”

Thanos watched as his children got into the secondary ship and took off in a streak of light. He approached Erika and leaned down until he could take her small chin in his massive hand, lifting it up and turning it this way and that to get a better look at her. 

Erika still had some cuts and bruising scattered over her face and arms, and the injury to her ankle made her favor the opposite leg, even in her possessed state. Her body was slight but her muscles were strong from her training. Even at this young age she had so much potential.

It almost wasn't any fun this way, Thanos thought, to have her waiting for orders like a puppet. He had liked the fire in her, even at such a young age, she was so like her father in her bullheaded resistance and he had been looking forward to shaping it, and her power, to his favor. With a twist in his stomach he realized Erika reminded him of Gamora when she was young. 

Thanos knelt down to Erika's level and looked into her eyes. “You will do everything I tell you to,” he said sternly. “Do you understand?”

It took a moment but Erika responded with a robotic, “Yes, Almighty Thanos.”

The Titan shook his head and sighed quietly. “I want you to call me Father, Erika.”

“Yes, Father.”

…………………...

The instant Proxima Midnight rounded the corner and Loki was left alone in his old cell, he sank down against the familiar rusted metal wall and closed his eyes, reaching out with his mind to search for his connection with Erika. The thread was barely there, frayed but not broken, and very weak. 

But she was close.

Thanos’ last words to him echoed in Loki’s brain, repeating like a torturous mantra as he tried to focus. “ _ If the stone is in Knowhere, you will live _ ,” the Titan had promised. “ _ For now. _ ” Loki hadn’t wanted to tell him where the Stone was, and he wouldn’t have, if he had had more time to come up with a better plan. Still, there were six Stones in all, which meant there was at least a little time while Thanos hunted them down.

His eyes still closed, Loki summoned what energy he could muster and pushed it into his link with Erika. Once he felt a flicker of a connection he tried to speak to her, careful not to overwhelm her likely worn-out mind. 

_ Erika, if you can hear me, I’m on the ship and I’m going to find you. Whatever it takes. And I will make them pay. I promise. If it’s the last thing I do, I will see them all pay. _

The connection faded as soon as he finished, and he leaned his head back against the cold wall. There was no way of knowing whether Erika had heard him, but at this point he didn't care. He needed to come up with a plan while he still had some time. His options were extremely limited, but that had never stopped him before. Loki was nothing if not resourceful. He tested the bonds around his wrists and ankles, finding them surprisingly secure and impregnated with the Maw’s magic. There was no slipping them off this time, like he had done years before. They knew of his strength now, and had clearly prepared for it in his absence. At least the chains were long so he could walk around the dank and dirty cell.

Loki twisted around to brace his hands on the wall and pushed himself to his feet, listening carefully for any footsteps coming down the hall. The only sound aside from the constant hum of the ship’s engine was dripping water coming from somewhere he couldn’t see. He winced as he took inventory of the injuries he had sustained aboard the Statesman, and he licked his cracked lips, tasting the dried blood from the wound on his eyebrow. At least one of his ribs had a slight fracture, but that would heal without much trouble in a few hours. The sweltering heat this far below deck was making sweat pour down the back of his leather armor, further fueling his resolve not to break under Thanos’ influence this time. Even if he had to give his life to do it, he would get Erika out of here. 

This was his old cell, after all - there had to be something left behind in this room aside from his former sanity. 

“It won’t work.”

Loki jumped in surprise at the familiar voice carrying to him from just down the corridor. He frowned, waiting to hear it again in case he heard wrong.

“Don’t worry, you’re just as sane as I am. Not that that’s saying much.” A dry laugh, followed by a long sigh and the shuffling of boots, identified the source of the voice before he saw her.

Hesitating slightly, Loki approached the bars of his cell, craning his neck to peer down the hall toward the sound. “Nebula? What are you doing down here?”

The blue-skinned woman slowly walked over to the bars on her own cell and leaned casually against them, her dark robotic eyes giving him a once-over. “It won’t work,” she repeated, dodging his question. “Whatever you’ve got planned in that  _ mischievous _ little head of yours. He’s too strong now.”

Loki gritted his teeth and exhaled sharply. “I’m not the broken prince you met all those years ago,  _ android _ . I have grown, in ways you couldn't fathom, and this time is different.” He hesitated, wondering if it was wise to tell her about Erika.  _ She’ll find out anyway if she doesn’t already know. _

“He has my daughter.”

If it were possible, Nebula’s eyes got even darker. “Then he has your weakness.”

“She’s all I have left,” Loki murmured, feeling the weight of the Asgardian deaths catching up to him. “If I have to I will stand by Thanos’ side long enough to get her to safety, wherever that may be, and cleave his head from his shoulders myself.”

Nebula turned away from Loki and leaned her back against the bars, staring up at the ceiling with her fists clenched at her sides. “Not if I do it first.” 

……………………………….

Tony stared down at the outdated phone in his hand. It had been two years since Germany,  and keeping it on his person at all times was no easy task, with the old thing draining its own battery and having to be recharged every night. But there was a part of him, despite everything, that knew if it came down to it, Steve was still the man to call, even if he didn't want to admit it.

He fought with himself as the phone number on the cracked screen burned into his eyes - on one hand, Steve was an international war criminal now, so who knew if the number still worked? Getting back in contact with him could prove a lot tricker than expected. On the other hand, however, were creatures of a strength far beyond anything any of them had dealt with before, searching for stones of immeasurable strength and willing to use brutal and cruel force to get them.

“Well?” Bruce asked impatiently, crossing his arms. “Are you gonna call him or not? We don’t have a whole lot of time here, you know.”

“It’s not as simple as it looks,” Tony snapped at him. “We’re...not on speaking terms. God, we haven’t caught up in a spell, have we?”

“I’ve been...busy.”

Tony sighed. “The Avengers broke up. We’re toast. Cap and I fell out hard.”

“Oh yes, I heard about your little airport fight in Germany,” Strange interjected, shaking his head. “Too bad I wasn’t there to see it.”

Bruce glanced from one man to the other, his fists clenching. “Airport fight? Can we stick to the problem at hand? The one where the universe is in danger and you don’t know how to admit you need help?”

“Bruce, I don’t - Look, it’s not like that. I know I’m in over my head here.”

“Then  _ call him,  _ damn it!” Bruce’s eyes grew wide as his voice deepened, and Tony could see a bit of green coloring the skin of his neck. He took a deep breath and tried to speak more calmly, the color receding down his neck until it was gone. “You didn’t see what he can do. He had Loki reduced to a scared little puppy.  _ Loki _ . You remember him. Thanos hurt Thor so bad he could barely move. It wouldn't surprise me if he ended up killing them. I was... kinda sent off before I could see how things went. The maniac killed half of the Asgardian refugees, Tony.”

“Refugees?”

“I'll tell you later. The point is, we could use all the help we can get. So for once in your stubborn life, swallow your pride, pick up the damn phone, and call Steve!” Bruce pointed angrily at the phone in Tony’s hand and stared him down. 

Tony swallowed hard and handed Bruce the phone. “You do it,” he said, avoiding eye contact. 

“Seriously? Fine.” Bruce snatched the phone away and hit the ‘Send’ button, glaring at Tony while the line rang. “Child.”

_ “Stark?” _

Bruce visibly relaxed at the sound of Steve’s voice. “Thank god. Steve, it’s Banner.”

_ “Wait, what happened to Stark? What’s going on?”  _ Steve’s tone was controlled but he couldn’t hide the panic in it, and Bruce could hear talking in the background, a woman’s voice.

“It’s… too much to explain over the phone. Basically an alien is coming to Earth and it’s more powerful than we could ever imagine. We need everyone together.”

_ “Bruce…” _

“Trust me, Cap. This is life-or-death. For the whole universe. Find Vision. We’ll meet you anywhere you want. Just…” Bruce found himself at a loss for words, the sight of hundreds of Asgardian bodies strewn all over the Statesman taunting him, reminding him just how short of a time they all had.

_ “I hear ya, Bruce. I’ll call this number back in one hour with a rendezvous point.” _

“Got it.”

Steve hung up first, and Bruce realized his hand was shaking when he pulled the phone away from his ear. “One hour,” he said, closing the phone. “He’ll call back with a meeting spot.”

The four men stood in tense silence until Strange spoke up. “I have to go too,” he muttered grimly, his hand over the Eye around his neck. “I need to inform the other Sanctums and get them rallied up.”

Tony opened his mouth to argue but stopped when he noticed a stray piece of hair on Strange’s head somehow moving in the wind. They were indoors, so how-?

“Say, Doc, you wouldn't happen to be moving your hair, would you?”


End file.
